What's Your Communication Style?

Just as people behave in diverse, unique ways, they also communicate in different ways. Knowing the “style” used by individuals in their communication is enormously helpful so that the message can be presented in the way most likely to be received and understood.

The two main dimensions of human behavior that are relevant to clear communications are assertiveness and responsiveness.  

·      Assertiveness is the degree to which a person attempts to influence the thoughts and actions of others. Does he/she ASK or TELL?

·      Responsiveness is the measure of emotional reaction to events. Does the person show feelings, emotions and impressions or does he/she guard and control emotions closely. Does he/she EMOTE or CONTROL?

Using these two dimensions of human behavior and building upon his groundbreaking development of the DISC assessment, Dr. William Marston identified four styles of behavior that affect how people communicate.  These are: ANALYTICAL, DRIVER, AMIABLE and EXPRESSIVE.

Everyone uses a blend of communication styles depending on the circumstance of the conversation so not all responses or action or reaction will come from the basic style. But, by watching closely for signals such as tone of voice or speed of speech or manner of decision-making, one can observe and determine the basic or dominant communication style of others. 

ANALYTICALS:        

People who are low in responsiveness and low in assertiveness are generally considered to be analyticals.  These ASK/CONTROL people are objective and task-oriented as the driver, but often relax their controlling tendency by asking when the driver would tell. Analyticals live life according to facts, principles and logic, avoiding risk. They usually react in a disciplined and deliberate way.  They tend to be technical specialists who combine personal reserve with emotional control in their relationships. They are motivated by a deep desire to be “right”.

DRIVERS:

People who are assertive and nonresponsive are drivers.  These TELL/CONTROL people tell others what to do and use their objectivity to control themselves. Drivers are primarily concerned with results and will concentrate on the task at hand rather than on the people who do the work. They seek power, make independent decisions and are quick to say what they think. Drivers like for others to be efficient so they can save them time and present facts/options that make it easy for them to make a decision. When under stress, drivers people tend to become autocratic.

EXPRESSIVES:

Highly assertive and highly responsive people are expressives. Like drivers they make an effort to tell others what to do but they place more importance on the relationship than on the task and they are more intuitive and impulsive.  Expressives pursue relationships and seek to influence through emotion, not objectivity. They often appear open, warm and approachable, yet competitive. They place value on power and are motivated to gain personal recognition.  They tend to be creative, friendly and ambitious. Under pressure, however, expressives tend to attack.

AMIABLES:

People who are low in assertiveness and high in responsiveness are amiables. Like expressives, they soften their style with a more personal, feeling approach but who remain reserved in their personal relationships.  Often considered support specialists because of their dependability, amiables set high priority on cooperative behavior, close relationships and friendships. Under pressure, they tend to give in or appease.  Amiables share their feelings with other and place a priority on being accepted.  They tend to avoid risk and activities in which they are not comfortable.   

Okay, so you have determined your own communication style and you have a good sense of the dominant communication style of others with whom you interact, what now?  The “what now” is the willingness to adapt your own communication style to theirs to improve mutual understanding, agreement and acceptance!  William James, the father of modern psychology wrote about the basic need people have to be understood. People want to receive information they way they want to receive it. When you communicate in the style of the recipient you are much more likely to be understood. Consider your goal and the situation and then use the style that best accomplishes your purpose.

The more skillfully you adapt your communication style to other people, the more likely you are to make them feel at ease.  As tension decreases, trust and credibility increases, making clear communications possible. Adapting your style to others does not mean imitating them, it simply means adjusting your style to try to meet their needs as well as your own.

Acknowledgement: “Effective Personal Productivity” by Paul J. Meyer, Randy Slechta and LMI.